Nicholas Brendon Quotes
Buffy: Giles...into every generation is born one who must run the annual talentless show. You cannot escape your destiny.
Giles: If you had any shred of decency, you would have participated, or at least helped.
Buffy: Nah. I think I'll take on your traditional role...and watch.
Xander: And mock.
Willow: And laugh.
[They all laugh at him]
Buffy: Okay. I think maybe we better leave our Mr. Giles to this business he calls “show.”
Willow: The one boy that’s really liked me and he's a demon robot. What does that say about me?
Buffy: That doesn't say anything about you.
Willow: I mean, I thought I was really falling...
Buffy: Hey, did you forget? The one boy I've had the hots for since I moved here turned out to be a vampire.
Xander: Right, and the teacher I had a crush on? Giant praying mantis.
Willow: That's true.
Xander: Yeah, that's life on the hellmouth.
Buffy: Let's face it. None of us are ever gonna have a happy, normal relationship.
Xander: We're doomed!
Buffy: Yeah.
[They laugh but stop silent]
Buffy: Whatever Dave is into, it’s large.
Giles: What is the name of this place?
Buffy: It said “C.R.D.” I couldn’t get close enough to see what it was.
Xander: It’s Calax Research and Development; it’s a computer research lab. Third largest employer in Sunnydale until it closed down last year.
[They look at him dumbfounded]
Xander: What?! I can’t have information sometimes?
Giles: It’s just somewhat unprecedented.
Xander: I mean, sure, he says he's a high school student, but I can say I'm a high school student.
Buffy: You are.
Xander: Okay, but I can also say that I'm an elderly Dutch woman. Get me? I mean, who's to say I'm not if I'm in the elderly Dutch chat room?
Buffy: I get your point. I get your point! Oh, this guy could be anybody. He could be weird, or crazy, or old or...he could be a circus freak. He's probably a circus freak!
Xander: Yeah, I mean, we read about it all the time. You know, people meet on the net, they talk, they get together, have dinner, a show. Horrible ax murder.
Buffy: Willow...ax murdered by a circus freak. Okay...okay, what do we do? What are we doing? Xander! You get me started. We’re totally overreacting.
Xander: But that’s fun, isn’t it?
Xander: You're in love with a vampire? What are you outta your mind?!
Cordelia: What?
Xander: Not vampire. How could you love an umpire? Everyone hates them!
Cordelia: Where did you get that dress?!
[She chases another student]
Cordelia Chase: This is a one-of-a-kind Todd Oldham. Do you know how much this dress cost? Is this a knockoff? This is a knockoff, isn't it? Some cheesy knockoff! This is exactly what happens when you sign these free trade agreements!
Buffy: Think we have problems?
Willow: You missed it!
Buffy: Missed what?
Xander: We just saw the zebras mating. Thank you, very exciting.
Willow: It was like the Heimlich...with stripes!
Buffy: And I missed it. And yet somehow I’ll find the courage to move on.
Willow: Xander, what’s wrong with you?
Xander: I guess you’ve noticed that I’ve been different around you lately.
Willow: Yes...
Xander: I think...um...I think my feelings for you have been changing and well, we’ve been friends for such a long time, then I feel like I need to tell you something. I’ve decided to drop geometry, so I won’t be needing your math help anymore which means I won’t have to look at your pasty face again.
Xander: So you just went home?
Buffy: What was I supposed to do, say to Owen, “Sorry I was late. I was sitting in a cemetery with a librarian waiting for a vampire to rise so I could prevent an evil prophecy from coming to pass?”
Xander: Or...flat tire?!
Miss French: Can I ask you a personal question? Have you ever been with a woman before?
Xander: You mean like in the same room?
Miss French: You know what I mean.
Xander: Oh that, well, let me think. Yeah, there was several, and I mean quite a few times. And then there was...oh, she was incredibly...no, uh huh.
Miss French: I know, I can tell.
Xander: You can?
Miss French: Oh, I like it. You might say...I need it.
First vampires, now witches. No wonder you can still afford a house in Sunnydale.
Xander
Buffy: You guys don’t have to get involved.
Xander: What do you mean? We’re a team. Aren’t we a team?
Willow: Yeah. You’re the Slayer, and we’re like the Slayerettes.
Buffy: So, this isn’t a vampire problem?
Giles: No.
Buffy: But this is funky, right? Not of the norm.
Giles: Quite. Spontaneous human combustion is rare and scientifically unexplainable. There have been cases for hundreds of years. Usually all that’s left is a pile of ashes.
Willow: That’s all that would’ve been left if it hadn’t been for Buffy.
Xander: So, we have no idea what caused this? That’s a comfort.
Giles: But that’s the thrill of living on the Hellmouth. There’s a veritable cornucopia of fiends and devils and ghouls to look at.
[They all look at him confused]
Giles: Pardon me for finding the glass half full.
