The Last Man on Earth
Sundays 9:30 PMThe Last Man on Earth Season 2 Quotes
Pat: One time, I saw a bag of bones wearing a bikini.
Mike: I'm so sorry, that must have been awful.
Pat: Well, I ain't gonna lie to you, sight of a bikini still does it for me. Skin or no.
Mike: Yeah, I'm more of a skin guy, myself.
Pat: Different strokes.
Mike: I was always a chocolate banana man, myself.
Pat: Wow, Sigmund Freud, he'd have a field day with you, boy.
Mike: I bet he would.
Pat: 'Cuz, the banana is the rough shape of the male anatomy.
Mike: No, yeah, I got all that. Yeah. Made that connection.
Pat: And chocolate on it? On a banana?
Mike: No, I got that one, too. No, it was -- The joke was good as it was, man. Didn't need all that.
Ohhh, there's a very good chance he's going to kill and eat me.
Mike [to himself]
You know, sometimes I'll anchor offshore at night. Big cities -- Miami, New York, New Orleans. Not one light. Pitch black. Pitch black.
Pat
So, Pat, you always been a seamen? By that I mean a sailor, not, you know, sperm.
Mike
You know what else has a permanent hole in it? Your head! Get it together. You can't give up. You just came from outer space, you freakin' fart-face. Now wake up!
Young Phil
I miss you, Mike. You're such a good little sister.
Young Phil
This is the straw that broke the camel's back. The camel is dead and I ate it! Just like the bacon! Which is another thing I did.
Todd
Don't worry, Gordon, I'm not gonna come anywhere near those balls.
Phil
Melissa, you're finally opening up and I'm so proud of you. But I'm gonna need you to shut it right back down, lady. Phil needs us! So just box that up, we'll go save his life, and then we'll come back and dig into those delicious feelings. It's what I like to call an emotional doggy bag and they taste even better the next day.
Carol
Gail: Stop it, Tandy, I'm not a doctor.
Tandy: And the Wright brothers weren't pilots until they got into that plane, y'know? [chanting] Gail! Gail! Gail!
I'm not a friggin' doctor! I am just a chef from a three star restaurant in Wilmington, North Carolina, so shut your friggin' cakeholes!
Gail
