The Last Man on Earth Season 2 Quotes

Ahhhh! Ahhhh! You're a monster. What the hell is wrong with you? [spits] How much women's saliva do you need in your mouth, you freakin' monster?

Todd [to himself]

Good lord, Hellraiser, what is that?

Gail [to Carol]

Thatcher, looks like it's you and me on this one. Don't look away from me, don't avert your eyes. Oh, smiling at me with those irresistible British teeth. I don't like dentistry either. Where'd you crash, Amelia? Where'd you crash? Don't ask questions, just tell me! Hi Janet, hi Janet. [crying] Gonna name it after all you guys if it's a girl. Condoleezza, help me! Help me! I can't do it! I have to! I can't do it! I have to! Ahh!!!

Phil

Phil Miller got knocked down. And this time... he did not get up again. We raise a whiskey drink. We raise a vodka drink. What a hero. And that is why today we send him off the only way that truly makes sense... a viking funeral.

Phil

Valhalla... honor... hero... Amen!

Phil

Phil: Todd and Gail are boning.
Carol: Cheese and rice!

Todd: Today's probably not the best day.
Gail: And what is the best day to find out that your ex-boyfriend's doing the devil's work with the lady down the hall?

I know what you did, Todd. You broke my heart. You broke my heart!

Carol

Mike: "RIP Spaceman. Cause of death: The 'goverment.'" Almost got it right.

Oh Jesus, you laid in something. It's like, virus.

Pat

Mike: I was always a chocolate banana man, myself.
Pat: Wow, Sigmund Freud, he'd have a field day with you, boy.
Mike: I bet he would.
Pat: 'Cuz, the banana is the rough shape of the male anatomy.
Mike: No, yeah, I got all that. Yeah. Made that connection.
Pat: And chocolate on it? On a banana?
Mike: No, I got that one, too. No, it was -- The joke was good as it was, man. Didn't need all that.

Pat: One time, I saw a bag of bones wearing a bikini.
Mike: I'm so sorry, that must have been awful.
Pat: Well, I ain't gonna lie to you, sight of a bikini still does it for me. Skin or no.
Mike: Yeah, I'm more of a skin guy, myself.
Pat: Different strokes.

The Last Man on Earth Season 2 Quotes

Carol: We should go back and get that bomb...
Phil: Carol... I knew you were gonna say that. I don't know how to put a bomb back in that little thingy!
Carol: We're Americans, we put a man on the moon!
Phil: Fine, if you wanna go back and get the bomb, we'll go back and get the bomb.
Carol: That won't be necessary, Phil, it's fine. Just the fact that you offered is good enough for me.

(to herself) Hm. Nice. Could use a little razzmatazz, though. Bam. "Oooh, Carol, where did you get such an expensive T-shirt? In the jewel markets of Monaco?"

Carol

The Last Man on Earth Season 2

The Last Man on Earth Season 2 Photos

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