Susan Mayer Quotes
Susan: Mike, I twisted my ankle.
Mike: Good. 'Cause now I get to do this. (picks her up and kisses her)
Susan: Uh, can I get a map to the hot springs? I'm gonna hike up there.
Ranger: No problem, you got gear?
Susan: Yep.
Ranger: That's not gear.
Susan: Why not?
Ranger: It's tiny ma'am, and pink.
Toni: What are you doing?
Susan: It's a face-mask, it's lavender and honey, you want some?
Toni: Honey, huh? So you're in the middle of the woods getting ready to smear your face with bear-food?
Ranger: I'm sorry, I just can't let you go up there-
Susan: Can't? There is no "can't" in love. There is a man on that mountain that I intend to spend the rest of my life with and nothing is going to keep me from him! Not fate, not destiny and definitely not you!
Ranger: To finish my thought ma'am, I can't let you go up there alone. You'll need a guide.
Susan: Oh. Cool.
Susan: Lynette, what are you doing here?
Lynette: Edie asked me to cater. I know, I'm a total whore, but please don't rat me out to Gaby.
Edie: (just as Susan is about to say something) Hi Susan! I have 30 copies of your book. The kids can't wait for you to sign it. Come on, let's go. Come on. Come on.
Lynette: (looks at Susan and smiles) Looks like we're working the same corner.
Gabrielle: So here's what's gonna happen. We're not talking to Edie anymore.
Lynette: What do you mean we?
Gabrielle: I mean we as in she betrayed me and you're my best friends so you're gonna support me because that's what friends do.
Susan: And support you, means acting like we're in junior high?
Gabrielle: Good friends share enemies too, so are you with me or not?
Susan: Ehm, of course we're with you.
Lynette: We will give Edie the cold shoulder.
Gabrielle: No, no! Not cold! Frozen! I want icicles hanging from that bitch's ears.
Susan: Ian, I made my choice.
Ian: But not for the right reasons. You're just trying to honor a promise you made to me.
Susan: I will get over him.
Ian: You've been trying to get over him for as long as I've known you. Haven't had much luck, have you?
Susan: Ian, I love you.
Ian: I know you do, but you love him a little bit more, don't you?
Gabrielle: What are you two doing here?
Susan: Uh, what are we doing here?
Lynette: Well, Edie hired me to cater, so it's just business. I don't know what her excuse is.
Susan: You are so dead.
Julie: There are only two guys in this world who know all your flaws and have still found a way to love you. You're just gonna toss them both away?
Susan: Yes. I don't need a man. I don't even need sex. I went without it the first sixteen years (Julie gives her a look)twenty-two years of my life, and I can go a few more.
Therapist: To let one guy go, well, that's life. It happens. To let them both go, that's just stupid.
Susan: Stupid?
Therapist: Yes, that would be the clinical term.
Man: It's my car! She tripped me and grabbed my keys.
Police officer: Is this true, Ma'am?
Susan: Oh alright, take his side!
