Susan Mayer Quotes
Hi. I'm having a problem with Mike and his male ego. Long story short, can I clog your drain?
Mike: Did you just say Katherine is a leprechaun?
Susan: Lesbian. Katherine is a lesbian.
Mike: Okay. The first one made more sense.
Susan: Apparently, the other night, Katherine and Robin got a little drunk...
Mike: Hold it. Robin?
Susan: Yeah. She's a leprechaun, too.
Susan: You name one thing that you think is going over the top.
Mike: The dove wrangler...
Susan: Well the doves aren't going to release themselves!
Susan: I just got a lipstick yesterday. You could wear that!
Gabrielle: I just paid a make-up artist five hundred bucks to do my face, do you really think I wanna march down the aisle looking like I just ate a popsicle?!
My idea of the perfect wedding keeps changing. One day I want white roses and then I want lillies .. only one thing stays constant - And I'm looking at him. Why would I need anything else to make my wedding perfect?
Susan: I'm thinking a chocolate fountain would be a cool centerpiece to a dessert buffet.
Mike: Dessert buffet? We're having a wedding cake, right? Isn't that a dessert?
Susan: Yeah, but you have to give people a choice. Don't you think a chocolate fountain would be elegant?
Mike: I don't know, you, a big, white dress, melted chocolate? Am I the only one hearing alarm bells?
Edie: (to Susan, about Gabrielle) At least get her a thoughtless crappy gift, like a blender.
Susan: I got you a blender for Christmas.
Edie: And I use it everyday... Gotta go! (Edie leaves)
Mary Alice: (narrating) Yes, Susan knew Mike was about to pop the question. The one she thought he'd never ask...
Susan: Oh, Mike.
Mary Alice: And thanks to Susan..
Susan: Will you marry me?
Mary Alice: ...he never did... Luckily, it wasn't the question she needed to hear...
Mike: I kinda had a speech prepared, but, sure, what the heck.
Mary Alice: ...it was the answer.
(Mike puts the ring on Susan's finger.)
Susan: (to Franois on the phone) And I wanna see if you still available to do the flowers. Bye oh, ah, just so you know, Ian's not the groom anymore, long story, call me!
Susan: (on the phone) Hi, Kurt, Susan Mayer. You did my wedding invitations, ah, I'm gonna need another batch, exactly the same only change the name Ian Hansworth to Mike Delfino, long story, call me!
Mary Alice (narrating): Exactly one year had passed since the night Mike Delfino and Susan Mayer were supposed to become engaged. So when Mike took Susan to her favorite restaurant, she just knew he was going to pop the question.
Mike (to Susan): What're you gonna have?
Mary Alice: And when he did
Susan: The chicken
Mary Alice: she'd be ready with her answer. But as the evening wore on, the moment Susan had been waiting for (Mike gets down on one knee, but only to tie his shoe)failed to materialize. (Later, a man standing next to their table playing the violin) And though many opportunities presented themselves (Mike puts his hand inside his jacket as if he wanna take something out. Susan drops what's in her hand to get ready, but Mike only takes out some cash to give them to the guy)the question was never asked. (Later, a plate with a cover is put on the table and Susan thought this is it) Until the thought began to dawn on Susan that perhaps (Mike removes the cover and reveals a seemingly special sweet dish)it never would (Susan looks very disappointed).
Toni: What are you doing?
Susan: It's a face-mask, it's lavender and honey, you want some?
Toni: Honey, huh? So you're in the middle of the woods getting ready to smear your face with bear-food?
(lost in the woods leaving Mike a voicemail) Hey, Mike. Um... Listen, I know your cellphone is off but I-- I wanted you to know that I followed you up to the Hotsprings and... and now I'm lost... you know, in the off chance that I get devoured by mountain lion I-- I just wanted you to know that...um... I love you. (starts crying) I've always loved you. And I don't want any more drama. And if you take me back I promise there won't be. Unless I get eaten by a mountain lion and you know that will be dramatic, but it won't be my fault. Anyway, I hope it's not too late but if it is I just-- I just want you to know that I am so so... (cell phone beeps for low battery and cuts off her call) ...sorry.
