The Conners
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCThe Conners Season 1 Quotes
Who's offended by a ninja costume? I've lived in Lanford my whole life and I have yet to run into a ninja.
Dan
Dan: It's Halloween for god's sake! That means 24 hours without laws or rules.
Darlene: That's the "Purge" movies, dad.
Our whole family is saddening. Does that mean we can't go out anymore?
Darlene
Becky: Why aren't you in costume?
Darlene: Oh I can't I have a job interview at McNasty's.
DJ: That place where all the waiters are rude to you? You are perfect for that.
Becky: Really sell the boredom now.
Harris: Alright, why don't you tell me about your day.
DJ: So what do we get if we win this Instagram thing?
Becky: The scariest family gets a case of beer and a six foot everything sandwich from Jack's Liquor and Deli.
I want your opinion. I do not want you teasing him. This family has a history of chasing off all the unstable men I bring into my life but Peter's different.
Jackie
Jackie: All right so since I've got you both here together I want to show you my costume. Disemboweled cheerleader.
Darlene: Look at you all gory and sexy.
Jackie: I'm bringing a friend to the party and it looks like it's starting to be a thing so I wanted to show off a little leg, a little intestine.
Harris: Oh my god! You guys won't believe what happened. I passed my driving test!
Jackie: Apparently it's pass everyone day.
Harris: Come on! I'm not that bad of a driver.
Jackie: I let you drive home and you made a garbage truck swerve. You don't see something that big on two wheels everyday.
Hey, this is a good box. We got a bloody foot on a hook and a dissected alien and some tax returns. Ooooh! The IRS believes we have a home office.
Becky
David: They named her Blue because she wasn't breathing when she was born.
Darlene: Wow! That explains a lot.
He was working overseas. Not for money but he's a good dad. Not a great job or he would have been on time.
Darlene
