Gilmore Girls Quotes
Lorelai: We can't have a mouse running around the inn. Our guests will freak.
Michel: Tell them it's a baby. People love babies. They'll talk to it in funny voices.
Paris: I can't do this.
Rory: What?
Paris: Date. I can't date. I'm not genetically set up for it.
Rory: Not true.
Paris: I get no pleasure out of the prospect or the preparation. I'm covered in hives, I've showered four times, and for what? Some guy who doesn't even have the brains to buy a Zagat so we don't wind up in a restaurant that's really just a front for a cocaine laundering ring?
Lorelai Gilmore: [fitting Rory's new dress] Maybe we should bring it in a bit more.
Rory: Oh, sure, but first why don't you use a medieval torture instrument to crush my ribs and flatten my spinal cord in order to accommodate your sadistic wishes.
Lorelai Gilmore: Don't use subtlety on us, we're slow.
Rory: Louise, what is your grandmother wearing to graduation?
Louise: Hopefully the pearls I get when she kicks.
Jess: I need ham.
Ceaser: No ham.
Jess: We got a shipment of ham yesterday!
Ceaser: No ham.
Jess: Ceasar, there is a lady over there that has been saying she wants ham for the last twenty minutes and if I go back there empty-handed, there is a fifty-fifty chance that she will eat me!
Ceaser: No ham!
Jess: Then sew some bacon together because that woman is getting ham!
Lorelai: I know something you don't know.
Rory: What?
Lorelai: Okay, just remember, it's really wrong to gossip, unless it's true or just way too good not to tell everyone you see, whether you know them or not.
Rory: Got it, what is it?
Lorelai: Well (phone rings) Aw, if that's my conscience calling, tell it enough already, I heard it the first time.
I hope so, 'cause I'm so damn lonely not even Animal Planet does it for me anymore.
Kirk
Oh, good donut selection this morning, really. Good variety, good color, good goodness, good . . . Well, so the choices are there. It all comes down to what I'm in the mood for. Sprinkled or chocolate or jelly or glazed, maple or kiki or apple or, uh, raised. Little donut rhyme there. Never mind. Can I have a chocolate and a sprinkled please?
Lorelai
Lorelai: But I'm here now and hey, I'm like cheese.
Dean: What?
Rory: She gets better with time.
Rory: What are you doing here?
Jess: I moved back.
Rory: What?
Jess: I moved back.
Rory: But...why?
Jess: Just...wanted to.
(Rory kisses Jess)
Rory: Oh my God!
Jess: Rory...
Rory: Don't say a word!
Jess: Okay.
Rory: (turns and begins to run away then looks back) Oh! Welcome home!
(Christopher drove all the way from Boston to see Rory's cast taken off)
Lorelai: I know, but I didn't think you would drive all the way from Boston again. You were just here.
Christopher: You getting sick of me?
Lorelai: Frankly, yes.
Christopher: When Jackson came out holding that kilt man, I felt for him.
Lorelai: I know, so did I.
Christopher: Please, I saw what your face was doing.
Lorelai: What? What was my face doing?
Christopher: It was counting up how many Brigadoon references you could come up with to torture him with at a later date.
Lorelai: How dare you accuse my face of that! My face is calling Gloria Alred when we get home.
Christopher: How many references?
Lorelai: None.
Christhopher: How many?
Lorelai: Twelve, including a few bars of I'll Go Home with Bonnie Jean.
