Futurama Season 1 Episode 4: "Love's Labours Lost in Space" Quotes
Fry: I heard that one time you single-handedly defeated a horde of rampaging somethings in the something-something-system.
Zapp Brannigan: The Killbots? A trifle! It was simply a matter of outsmarting them.
Fry: Wow! I never would have thought of that!
Zapp Brannigan: You see, Killbots have a preset kill limit. Knowing their weakness, I sent wave after wave of my own men at them, until they reached their limit and shutdown. Kif, show them the medal I won.
(Kif then points to Zapp's chest where the medal is)
Kif: Shall I fire on them now, sir?
Zapp Brannigan: Not yet, Kif. In the game of chess, you can never let your adversary see your pieces.
Leela: Hey, look! That's Zapp Brannigan's ship.
Fry: Wow! The Zapp Brannigan?
Leela: Uh-huh!
Fry: Who's the Zapp Brannigan?
Zapp Brannigan: Captain's journal. Star date; 3000.3.
Kif: Who are you talking to, sir?
Zapp Brannigan: You! Aren't you getting this? We have detected a vessel attempting to break the security cordon around Vergon 6. I'm anticipating an all-out tactical dogfight, followed by a light dinner... ravioli, ham, sundae bar.
Farnsworth: It's a sunny little doomed planet, inhabited by a number of frisky little doomed animals.
Leela: Animals?
Farnsworth: That's right. Animals in desperate need of rescue. You see, Vergon 6 was once filled with a super-dense substance known as dark matter, each pound of which weighs over ten thousand pounds.
Leela: Wait! What about the animals?
Farnsworth: Well, dark matter is extremely valuable as starship fuel. That's why it was all mined out, leaving the planet completely hollow.
Leela: Yes, but what about the animals?
Farnsworth: The wha'?
Leela: The animals.
Farnsworth: I didn't say anything about animals. Now it seems that the planet will collapse within three days. Incidentally, this will kill all the animals.
Amy: This is Bolt Rolands. Bolt is a hyper-sled racer with 10 wins on the pro-circuit.
Bolt: Hello, beautiful!
Bender: I think she means 10 wins on the gay circuit.
Bolt: I wish! Those cats can really fly.
Woman: You're from the 20th century? That's incredible! I'm from the 21st century.
Fry: No way! We've got so much in common.
Woman: We sure do. Remember when those cyborgs enslaved humanity?
Fry: Uh, yeah! That rings a bell.
Alright we don't have much time to collect these animals. The planet is supposed to collapse in approximately... 2 hours ago.
Leela
Zapp Brannigan: What troubles you, Leela? Whatever it is, I'm willing to send wave after wave of my own men to aid you. Isn't that right, men?
(silence in the crew filled dining hall...)
Rogue voice: You suck!
Zapp Brannigan: Captain's journal; Star date... uh...
Kif: April 13th.
Zapp Brannigan: April 13th... point two. We have failed to uphold Brannigan's Law. However, I did make it with a hot alien babe. And in the end, is that not what man has dreamt of since first he looked up at the stars?... Kif, I'm asking you a question!
Dear Captain's Diary; I may not have found love on this mission but I did find a cute little companion who excretes starship fuel. And that's just as good.
Leela
So a couple of animals didn't die and Leela got lucky. That's what I call a successful mission!
Bender
