Futurama Season 1 Episode 4: "Love's Labours Lost in Space" Quotes
Personally, I don't care how many eyes a guy has. As long as it's less than five.
Leela
Leela: They say Zapp Brannigan single-handedly saved the Octilian system from a horde of rampaging killbots.
Bender: A grim day for robot-kind. Ah, but we can always build more killbots.
I doubt I've seen more than three or four captains sexier than you.
Zapp Brannigan
I don't pretend to understand Brannigan's law; I merely enforce it.
Zapp Brannigan
Kif, I have made it with a woman. Inform the men.
Zapp Brannigan
Leela: Look, I'm going down to Vergon 6 to save those animals whether you like it or not.
Zapp Brannigan: Go ahead. I won't stop you.
Leela: Threaten all you-- Wait. What?
Zapp Brannigan: We both know you won't make it halfway to Vergon 6 before the craving sets in. Then you'll come crawling back for another taste of sweet, sweet candy... bam!
Leela: Zapp, last night was a mistake.
Zapp Brannigan: A sexy mistake.
Leela: No, just a regular mistake. For a split second my common sense was overwhelmed by pity.
Zapp Brannigan: A split second is all it takes. That's why sooner or later you'll come crawling back to the Zapper.
Leela: The only kind of crawling I'm doing to you is away... from!
Zapp Brannigan: Leela, you're obviously confused and aroused.
Now you're officially my woman. Kudos! I can't say I don't envy you.
Zapp Brannigan
Zapp Brannigan: Welcome to my humble chamber, or as I call it, "the Lovenasium". Sham-pag-in?
Leela: I didn't realise you were such a coin-a-sewer.
Zapp Brannigan: Well, I have studied abroad. Or two!
Zapp Brannigan: Kif, you're my best and most loyal friend but you've earned my contempt once again. As my protg you should know that the only way to deal with a female adversary is to seduce her. This time we are sure she's a woman, right?
Kif: Yes.
Zapp Brannigan: Good! Invite her to my quarters. Oh, and have the boy lay out my formal shorts.
Kif: "The boy", sir?
Zapp Brannigan: You. You lay out my formal shorts.
Zapp Brannigan: I'm facing a formidable female adversary, Kif. Suggestions?
Kif: I fail to see any problem, sir. You already imprisoned her under directive B-10.8-1.
Zapp Brannigan: You mean Brannigan's Law?
Kif: Right, that law.
Zapp Brannigan: Which one?
Kif: Brannigan's Law.
Zapp Brannigan: The Democratic Order Of Planets prohibits interfering with undeveloped worlds. It's a little rule known as "Brannigan's Law".
Leela: But people already interfered. That planet was mined completely hollow.
Zapp Brannigan: Yes, by a Democratic Order Of Planets mining crew.
