Phoebe Buffay Quotes
Ross: Yeah, she finally stopped crying yesterday, but then she found one of Richard's cigar butts out on the terrace ...
Phoebe: Oh, okay, that explains it. I got a call at two in the morning, but all I could hear was, like, this high squeaky sound, so I thought, okay it's, like, a mouse or a possum. But then I realized, like, okay, where would a mouse or a possum get the money to make the phone call?
Monica: I'm sorry, but that's my happy place.
Phoebe: Well, okay, fine. Use my happy place. Okay, I'm just ... I'm gonna have to ask that you don't move anything in there.
Monica: Okay, I'll try not to.
Phoebe: Okay. All right, so, you're in a meadow, millions of stars in the sky.
Monica: Do you think breaking-up with him was a huge mistake?
Phoebe: Okay, there are no questions in the happy place. Okay? Just the warm breeze, and the moonlight flowing through the trees...
Monica: I'll bet he's totally over me. I'll bet he's fine.
Phoebe: All right, betting and wagering of any kind are, I'm sure, not permitted in the happy place.
Rachel: Did you ever do the ... the Leia thing?
Phoebe: Oh, yeah, uh-huh. Oh!
Rachel: Really! That ... that great, huh?
Phoebe: No, it's just that I got this new pager and I have it on vibrate. See ya!
Chandler: (Realizing his internet girl is Janice) Oh my God!
Janice: Oh... my... God! (Chandler rushes over and kisses her)
Ross, Joey, Rachel, Phoebe: Oh... my... God!
Chandler, you have got to stop staring at that door. It's like a watched pot. If you keep watching it, the door is never gonna boil.
Phoebe: We're just trying to figure out if Chandler's girlfriend is a girl.
Joey: Oh, well just ask her how long she's gonna live. Women live longer than men.
Chandler: How do you not fall down more?
Chandler: She's married. She has a husband.
Phoebe: What if the husband person is the wrong guy and you are the right guy. You don't get chances like this all the time. If you don't meet her now, you're going to be kicking yourself when you're 80, which is hard to do and that's how you break a hip.
Phoebe: You don't want to see a face that's covered with pox.
Ryan: Your face could be covered with lox, I wouldn't care!
Phoebe: You have to stay back, 'cause, I have the pox.
Ryan: Chicken or small?
Phoebe: Chicken. Which is so ironic, considering that I'm a vegetarian.
Joey: Woah, woah, woah, uh, no Shannon Cooper.
Phoebe: Why not her?
Joey: Cause she uh, she steals stuff.
Chandler: Or maybe she doesn't steal stuff and Joey just slept with her and never called her back.
(To Rachel) You are such a leafblower!
Rachel: This is about you stealing my wind!
Ross: Your wind?
Rachel: Yes, my wind. How do you expect me to grow if you won't let me blow?
Ross: You, you know I... I don't, have a, have a problem with that.
Rachel: Okay, I just, I just really need to be with myself right now. I'm sorry.
Phoebe: Uh uum, um, um.
Rachel: You're right, I don't have to apologize. Sorry. Damn it!
