NCIS
Mondays 9:00 PM on CBSJimmy Palmer Quotes
Ducky: He’s *dead*, Doctor Palmer.
Jimmy: Yeah, I noticed that when I removed his spleen and he didn’t complain!
Jimmy: I mean, I guess I can see how some lawyer could use the confusion of an evacuation to call into question the chain of evidence, but, well, Autopsy *and* Abby’s lab have secure storage. These new rules clearly are written by some out-of-touch bean counter!
Bishop: I helped write the protocol when I was at NSA.
Jimmy: You used the words “evacuation” and “evidence” twice in the same sentence.
Abby: I saw no moxie when she stayed at my place last night! She barely even spoke to me!
Jimmy: By any chance, did you have her sleep in your guest casket?
Abby: I do not have a guest *casket*, I have a guest *room*!
Jimmy: Can people really talk to the dead?
Ducky: You’re seriously asking me? The real question is--
Gibbs: Can they talk back?
Jimmy: And the answer is--
Gibbs: No!
Awkward silences make me uncomfortable, so I’m just gonna keep on talking!
Jimmy: Oh! Am I interrupting?
Gibbs: Nope. You’re right on time.
Jimmy: That’s unusual.
Jimmy: Wait, wait, I was delirious?
Ducky: Incoherent! You called me ‘Ducky’!
Jimmy: I know you like me, too.
Gibbs [ominously]: Oh, yeah.
Jimmy: Growing less and less certain by the second.
Ducky [regarding “Goodfellas”]: Actually, I saw it with Gibbs!
Jimmy: Really? Gibbs sees movies, like made *after* 1957?
Gibbs [walks in]: What’s your point?
Jimmy: Whoa. That was an impressively quiet entrance.
By the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife. [beat] You should smooch.
Chief Choi: Jones’s body, it’s gone!
Jimmy Palmer: This’ll complicate the autopsy
Ducky: What have you found, Dr. Palmer?
Jimmy: I’m not sure. Maybe, mud? Maybe? But not exactly?
Ducky: Ah, that’s quite an analysis.