Quotables for Week Ending April 2, 2016
![](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1661721234/user/modwild)
Elementary wins the quote of the week. Anytime I can laugh out loud at a quote from a show I don't watch, it's a win.
That's what we aim to do here, get you to want to tune in. I'm going to watch that episode of Elementary.
Scroll through this slideshow and see what you might want to tune into that you've never seen before!
1. Elementary
![A critical point elementary](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--35_Gow7c--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458325974/a-critical-point-elementary.jpg)
Perhaps it entered your mind subconsciously. Were your dreams filled with two flounders slapping together? A ketchup bottle being squeezed repeatedly whilst a nearby walrus issues a death rattle?
Sherlock [to Joan, on the neighbor's noisy sex]
2. Shades of Blue
![Facing off with miguel shades of blue](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--s8G6Town--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1459377940/facing-off-with-miguel-shades-of-blue.jpg)
You watched your son repeatedly break my face and didn’t lift a finger to help. Why would I think it would be any different for Cristina?
Harlee
3. The Walking Dead
![Search parties head out the walking dead](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--tLYNaDGP--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1459015158/search-parties-head-out-the-walking-dead.jpg)
Maggie has us on a schedule, and I'm not pissing off a pregnant lady.
Michonne
4. Vinyl
![Stop in vegas vinyl](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--KKEX85o2--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1459108036/stop-in-vegas-vinyl.jpg)
Zak: I'd trust my wife naked in bed with Burt Reynolds before I'd trust you alone with 200 grand in cash!
Richie: I vaguely see your point!
5. Quantico
![Lives hang in the balance quantico](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--s49i4dxS--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1459015648/lives-hang-in-the-balance-quantico.jpg)
You look like you are trying to do long division in your head.
Iris
6. Shameless
![Scamming money shameless](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--i7bJqlZG--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458442261/scamming-money-shameless.jpg)
You have no money yet you're going into a grocery store. Interesting.
Frank
7. Madam Secretary
![Peace talks madam secretary](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--nL0Zl2uW--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458357567/peace-talks-madam-secretary.jpg)
Elizabeth: The President actually said that?
Russell: Of course not, but I speak for him.
8. Girls
![Blowing off steam girls](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--L9PR4NQs--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1459015866/blowing-off-steam-girls.jpg)
Marnie: You're playing aggressive guitar at me.
Desi: There's nothing aggressive about that, it's a ballad.
9. The Good Wife
![Face to face the good wife](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--Dvy0F_d4--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458355720/face-to-face-the-good-wife.jpg)
Peter: I should kick your ass.
Jason: You could try. And then what?
10. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
![Making things right crazy ex girlfriend](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--_3hniRkj--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1459129812/making-things-right-crazy-ex-girlfriend.jpg)
Greg: This isn't gonna be like a roll in the hay and then you go home. This is gonna be three days of you and me ruining each other, and not emotionally. Is that what you want?
Rebecca: When do we start?
11. Gotham
![Fresh air gotham season 2 episode 16](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s----8SL31C--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458573913/fresh-air-gotham-season-2-episode-16.jpg)
Penguin: To be fair, I never raped anybody.
Grace: Oh, well, that's a mercy, isn't it?
Elijah: My son told me about his past. He just didn't tell me how famous he was. You're too modest, son.
12. Supergirl
![Supergirl and the flash team up](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--6UMksx9U--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458226488/supergirl-and-the-flash-team-up.jpg)
All four of you standing there doing nothing, you look like the attractive yet non-threatening racially diverse cast of a CW show.
Cat
13. Bates Motel
![Caught between two families bates motel](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--d6ybr9fR--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1459130399/caught-between-two-families-bates-motel.jpg)
Orderly: Norman, they're waiting for you in group.
Norman: Yes, well, I'm not going.
Orderly: Well, you're scheduled to be there. If you're not going, I'm going to have to confine you back to your room.
Norman: OK, Jacob, you obviously didn't get the memo because I am being released today. You can go ask Dr. Edwards.
Orderly: OK [lays hands on Norman].
Norman [pushes him away]: OK! Thank you! Well done! Bad idea! You have obviously no IDEA what's going on in this place! I'm. Being. Released. TODAY.
14. Scorpion
![Tornado scorpion](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--CPMFlCvv--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1459129502/tornado-scorpion.jpg)
Walter: She's not mine to let go because we're friends. We're coworkers.
Toby: That's right. That's my mistake. I keep forgetting because of the way you look, feel, and talk about her.
15. The Magicians
![Quentin and a book](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--Gi0rm_74--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1459213124/quentin-and-a-book.jpg)
I'm in too. I heard the word illegal.
Eliot
16. Blindspot
![A stolen painting blindspot](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--XZegEUls--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1459130688/a-stolen-painting-blindspot.jpg)
Jane: So this dog can really smell bombs?
Reade: Well if it can't, it's a pretty terrible bomb smelling dog.
17. Jane the Virgin
![A flood jane the virgin](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--xvHmfimS--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1459130021/a-flood-jane-the-virgin.jpg)
Petra: After everything Jane's done, starting with having Mateo in the first place after your sister knocked her up, and you can't tolerate a small commute to let her live in her dream house? Get over yourself, Rafael, and find a way to make it work!
Narrator: And so, just as Jesus rose Lazarus from the dead, Petra Solano went to the mat for Jane Villaneuva on this day in the year of our Lord, 2016.
18. Lucifer
![Lucifer the cook](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--ItV33PDi--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458574357/lucifer-the-cook.jpg)
I'm stuck in a place I don't belong, and I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. I need to figure out how to be more normal.
Maze
19. iZombie
![Liv investigates izombie](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--fzsBeCdg--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458598288/liv-investigates-izombie.jpg)
Are you frickin' kidding me? Is this chick crying because her granny is finding out she is stripper? You're being questioned in a murder case because you are suspect.
Liv
20. Chicago Fire
![Inside a chimney chicago fire](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--vk5Lafgs--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1459227975/inside-a-chimney-chicago-fire.jpg)
Herrmann: You know what they call the guy who comes in second place? Loser.
Casey: I can always count on you for a pep talk, Herrmann.
21. Stitchers
![Targeted by a killer stitchers](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--xTTkR-yd--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1459228238/targeted-by-a-killer-stitchers.jpg)
Wow! Now you don't have to get off your fat ass to boil water.
Camille
22. New Girl
![Jess day photo](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--MPOA-ovW--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1371228629/jess-day-photo.png)
Jess: Nick, are you eating raisins from my purse? I confiscated those from a kid.
Nick: That explains why they're so sticky. Sticky Nicky eats anything and I don't get sick.
23. Chicago Med
![Taking a stand chicago med](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--e2Id0zCR--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1459223783/taking-a-stand-chicago-med.jpg)
Maggie: I was doing my job.
Sharon: You handled the situation exactly as I would have. That blood draw would have left the hospital open for litigation.
Maggie: Yeah, yeah. Next time I have to fill out a credit application, that's what I'll tell them when they ask me, "Have you ever been arrested?"
24. Agents of SHIELD
![Chloe bennet as agent daisy johnson agents of shield](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--_0wFG8Gu--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1442930559/chloe-bennet-as-agent-daisy-johnson-agents-of-shield.jpg)
Thank you Nerd Herd, I'm going to go call Coulson.
Daisy
25. Shadowhunters
![Alec and lydias wedding shadowhunters](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--9ItrqHQR--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1459227647/alec-and-lydias-wedding-shadowhunters.jpg)
Alec: Who invited the vampire?
Simon: Seriously?
26. Awkward
![Jenna like luke awkward](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--DB6NcRSs--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1459228527/jenna-like-luke-awkward.png)
At these prices, I can see why someone would turn to prostitution for a drink.
Luke
27. Rosewood
![The perfect murder rosewood](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--GttH1p3E--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1459300986/the-perfect-murder-rosewood.jpg)
Erica: I know we're going to sleep together.
Rosewood: Is that right?
Erica: Yep and I'm going to enjoy the wait.
28. Empire
![Its time for our comeback empire s2e11](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--ww8_Y_dG--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1459195004/its-time-for-our-comeback-empire-s2e11.jpg)
Cookie: You really gonna pick this bitch over your whole family, Hakeem?
Hakeem: At least she don't beat me with a purse.
Camilla: Not unless you want me to.
29. Arrow
![Intruder alert arrow](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--QZLNlqFd--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458873983/intruder-alert-arrow.jpg)
It looks like we have ourselves a taller, more dude-like version of Felicity.
Diggle
30. Law & Order: SVU
![Undercover at a homeless shelter law and order svu](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--7l_ufT1h--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1459284908/undercover-at-a-homeless-shelter-law-and-order-svu.jpg)
I think if they get 20 years, they're getting off too easy. But when you sit down with them, play dominoes, you wonder, are they the same guy 20 years later they were when they went in?
Carisi
31. Chicago PD
![Psychological manipulation chicago pd](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--_oa7zdWp--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1459303947/psychological-manipulation-chicago-pd.jpg)
Voight: Did you know Ruby was pregnant? Seven weeks?
Stommer: Well she is a prostitute. I imagine that's an occupational hazard.
32. Nashville
![Rayna james photo](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--xZZHc3LY--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1371235000/rayna-james-photo.png)
Look, honey, you're a survivor, and you have made beautiful music out of such an unfortunate circumstance.
Rayna
33. Ciminal Minds
![Prentiss returns criminal minds](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--LVHx__rc--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1459284506/prentiss-returns-criminal-minds.jpg)
Prentiss: Yo baby girl. Watch you think you're doing in my office? You know better than to mess with my stuff. I don't mess with your stuff.
Garcia: You're here...here...here with me? I didn't think you were going to be here. I thought you were going to go right home.
34. The Big Bang Theory
![The movie lie the big bang theory](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--k6aHW8lX--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458325488/the-movie-lie-the-big-bang-theory.jpg)
Oh, they went to the store to get solder. Which is metal you melt to make science things.
Penny
35. Legends of Tomorrow
![Shocked dcs legends of tomorrow](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--lTdP3dwy--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458760761/shocked-dcs-legends-of-tomorrow.jpg)
I used to think the most beautiful thing on earth was fire. Now I know, it's vengeance.
Mick
36. Vikings
![Ragnar and yidus goodbye vikings](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--tD-75vKw--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1458987507/ragnar-and-yidus-goodbye-vikings.jpg)
This is how you repay me? When everyone wanted you dead, I kept you alive. You hurt me, brother.
Ragnar