Duck Dynasty Quotes from Season 5
![](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1463490392/user/matt-richenthal)
The men of Duck Dynasty are always great for a few memorable quotes.
Check out these Season 5 gems.
1. Wrestling, to rednecks, is a soap opera.
![Duck dynasty finale pic](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--uyWkFAuo--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1395879332/duck-dynasty-finale-pic.jpg)
Wrestling, to rednecks, is a soap opera.
Jase
2. I have found ticks in my whiskers.
![Duck dynasty finale pic](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--uyWkFAuo--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1395879332/duck-dynasty-finale-pic.jpg)
I have found ticks in my whiskers.
Phil
3. Why did you marry him?
![Duck dynasty finale pic](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--uyWkFAuo--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1395879332/duck-dynasty-finale-pic.jpg)
What was the line to make you say 'I think I'll spend the rest of my life with a guy from Florida?
Phil
4. Normally, I would be concerned about Willie getting hurt. But I have not seen Willie exercise...
![Duck dynasty finale pic](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--uyWkFAuo--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1395879332/duck-dynasty-finale-pic.jpg)
Normally, I would be concerned about Willie getting hurt. But I have not seen Willie exercise this much since he stopped doing the TaeBo videos in the living room. And I think those were on VHS too.
Korie
5. She was looking for a man who was not from the Paleolithic era, if you know what I mean.
![Duck dynasty finale pic](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--uyWkFAuo--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1395879332/duck-dynasty-finale-pic.jpg)
She was looking for a man who was not from the Paleolithic era, if you know what I mean.
Gordon
6. I like sheep.
![A new invention](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--KMhA24TF--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1395191364/a-new-invention.png)
I like sheep.
Miss Kay
7. The duck call room is actually a combination of science, innovation and art, all coming...
![A new invention](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--KMhA24TF--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1395191364/a-new-invention.png)
The duck call room is actually a combination of science, innovation and art, all coming together. We are like a rednecked NASA. We are boldly going where no redneck has gone before.
Jase
8. They're not mad. These cows are crazy
![A new invention](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--KMhA24TF--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1395191364/a-new-invention.png)
They're not mad. These cows are crazy
Si
9. Missiles are coming out the rear ends of these animals that can provide a lot of opportunity...
![A new invention](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--KMhA24TF--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1395191364/a-new-invention.png)
Missiles are coming out the rear ends of these animals that can provide a lot of opportunity for your children.
Phil
10. You're OK!
![Constant teasing](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--2hXXPwb7--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1393976977/constant-teasing.png)
If there's not a bone protruding through your skin, or you're not bleeding from an orifice, you'll be OK.
Jase
11. That's my crapper.
![Constant teasing](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--2hXXPwb7--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1393976977/constant-teasing.png)
That's my crapper.
Jep
12. You like a full-figured TV like you like a full-figured woman.
![A new duck dynasty toy](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--OkaJDYGs--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1393499561/a-new-duck-dynasty-toy.jpg)
You like a full-figured TV like you like a full-figured woman.
Kay
13. Yep. It's the childhood equivalent of a strip mall.
![Constant teasing](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--2hXXPwb7--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1393976977/constant-teasing.png)
Jep: So, by your logic, it's too fun.
Jase: Yep. It's the childhood equivalent of a strip mall.
14. Ice cream is not a legitimate perk.
![A new duck dynasty toy](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--OkaJDYGs--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1393499561/a-new-duck-dynasty-toy.jpg)
Ice cream is not a legitimate perk.
Jase
15. The grandkids want me to talk to them on the phone, with text, and I don't know how to do it.
![A new duck dynasty toy](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--OkaJDYGs--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1393499561/a-new-duck-dynasty-toy.jpg)
The grandkids want me to talk to them on the phone, with text, and I don't know how to do it.
Kay
16. Hey, I'm a math man.
![Burger cookoff](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--15PA5kF1--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1391541640/burger-cookoff.png)
Hey, I'm a math man.
Si
17. Decoupage is the perfect way to relax.
![Burger cookoff](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--15PA5kF1--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1391541640/burger-cookoff.png)
Decoupage is the perfect way to relax.
Jessica
18. Decoupage. It's a French word. I know it sounds kinda dirty.
![Burger cookoff](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--15PA5kF1--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1391541640/burger-cookoff.png)
Decoupage. It's a French word. I know it sounds kinda dirty.
Jep
19. You don't mix nail guns and medication. That's just not smart.
![Constant teasing](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--2hXXPwb7--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1393976977/constant-teasing.png)
You don't mix nail guns and medication. That's just not smart.
Martin
20. One time, Jase even said he was better at flippin' channels.
![Burger cookoff](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--15PA5kF1--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1391541640/burger-cookoff.png)
One time, Jase even said he was better at flippin' channels.
Wilie
21. I don’t need baskets. That’s what women do.
![Burger cookoff](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--15PA5kF1--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1391541640/burger-cookoff.png)
I don’t need baskets. That’s what women do.
Jase
22. I love bringing old things back to life.
![Burger cookoff](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--15PA5kF1--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1391541640/burger-cookoff.png)
I love bringing old things back to life.
Kay
23. Why ain't yall working?
![Duck dynasty cast members](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--Qh-UOhla--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1386845359/duck-dynasty-cast-members.jpg)
What are y'all doing? Why ain’t y'all working?
Willie
24. I gotta put a stop to it.
![Duck dynasty cast members](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--Qh-UOhla--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1386845359/duck-dynasty-cast-members.jpg)
When I hear a sound that's particularly unpleasant, I gotta put a stop to it.
Jase
25. You need a weapon? Give me a flip-flop and a Big League Chew
![Duck dynasty cast members](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--Qh-UOhla--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1386845359/duck-dynasty-cast-members.jpg)
You need a weapon? Give me a flip-flop and a Big League Chew.
Si
26. Do you why, Priscilla, you don't wanna breathe those fumes? You ever seen a dead animal in...
![Duck dynasty cast members](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--Qh-UOhla--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1386845359/duck-dynasty-cast-members.jpg)
You ever seen a dead animal in the road? That's the way your brain will look.
Phil
27. The key to telling a scary story - throw a little realism in there.
![Duck dynasty cast members](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--Qh-UOhla--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1386845359/duck-dynasty-cast-members.jpg)
The key to telling a scary story - throw a little realism in there.
Phil
28. As a hunter, I think this is one of the most enjoyable kills I've ever had.
![Duck dynasty cast members](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--Qh-UOhla--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1386845359/duck-dynasty-cast-members.jpg)
As a hunter, I think this is one of the most enjoyable kills I've ever had.
Jase
29. She was a looker. Like them chicks on 'The Weather Channel' you know what I'm sayin.
![Duck dynasty cast members](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--Qh-UOhla--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1386845359/duck-dynasty-cast-members.jpg)
She was a looker. Like them chicks on The Weather Channel, you know what I'm sayin.
Phil
30. It's easier to maintain the monotony of putting together duck calls when you're a little loopy.
![Duck dynasty cast members](https://tv-fanatic-res.cloudinary.com/iu/s--Qh-UOhla--/t_slideshow/cs_srgb,d_tv-fanatic-placeholder-square.png,f_auto,fl_strip_profile.lossy,q_auto:420/v1386845359/duck-dynasty-cast-members.jpg)
It's easier to maintain the monotony of putting together duck calls when you're a little loopy.
Jase