The White Lotus
Sundays 9:00 PM on HBOThe White Lotus Quotes
Bert: You slammed the door in that poor girl's face.
Dominic: You were harassing her.
Bert: No I was not.
Albie: You kind of were, and farting.
Cameron: Honey, check out this view.
Daphne: Whoa. Is that a volcano?
Wow. This hotel is so cool.
Daphne
Tanya: You guys just pull out all the stops. You really do. Whenever I stay at a White Lotus, I always have a memorable time. Always.
Manager: And you are in our blossom circle, so you are very important to us.
Tanya: But I was a petal, and I worked my way up to blossom.
Manager: You know that your husband is already here.
Tanya: Good, because he hasn't been responding to my texts.
That's a lot of fucking bags. Maybe she's moving to Italy.
Mia
How was your caprese? I was told that the cheese here was made by a blind nun in a basement.
Tanya
Valentina: I know you. Not in my hotel.
Woman: Jealous? You don't know what pleasure is. It's written on your face.
Valentina: At least I don't have sex for money.
Woman: Who'd pay money to have sex with you? Uptight, ugly bitch.
Valentina: Is no one monitoring the entrance here? Or the exit?
Greg: Tanya, you ate all the macaroons.
Tanya: What macaroons?
Greg: How do you expect to lose weight if you inhale five macaroons and not remember?
Tanya: I only ate three.
Greg: There were five. Did you drink the champagne, too?
Harper: Are you taking that side of the bed. I sleep on that side of the bed.
Ethan: Is it a big deal?
Harper: Yeah, I want to sleep on that side of the bed.
Ethan: Okay, I'll sleep over there.
Harper: I think that's better. Also, they're so touchy-feely, right? It feels performative. Like, who does that?
Ethan: Happily married couples?
Harper: Couples who have been married five years, no way. It feels fake.
Ethan: You are so quick to judge people.
Harper: Yeah, people that brag about taking helicopters to the Hamptons and being friends with Jeff Bezos. I mean...
Ethan: Look, Cameron is the kind of guy who if you can put up with him for five minutes, you can put up with him forever, He is consistent.
Harper: A consistent douche?
Ethan: Yeah, he's crazy. It's funny.
Harper: Was he like that in college?
Ethan: Way worse.
Harper: Why were you even friends with him?
Ethan: We weren't friends. We were roommates and you know how it is, you kind of become friends, and now we're friends.
Harper: At some point, he is going to approach you with some kind of money-making scheme, or some kindof favor, or something. There's a reason they invited us here. That's my prediction, so we'll see.
Ethan: Can you just please try to make an effort or this is going to be a very awkward week.
Harper: When do I ever make things awkward?
Greg: How was the flight?
Tanya: I text you a bunch of times and you never text me back.
Greg: I know, I'm sorry, I just had a flare up at work and...
Valentina: Can I show you your room... or?
Tanya: Yeah, definitely.
Greg: What the hell is she doing here?
Tanya: Look, I'm traveling by myself.
Greg: You bring your assistant to a vacation with your husband?
Valentina: Anything you need, I'll be there.
Tanya: I just don't know what the big deal is. I don't know why you're so bothered.
Greg: Because I said no. Because it's supposed to be romantic. Because it's a vacation in Sicily for us.
Tanya: It's not like she's going to be in our bed and stuff. She has her own room.
Greg: Tanya, get rid of her.
Tanya: Alright. I'll get rid of her, alright.
Greg: Put her on a plane.
Tanya: Hey, um, you're going to have to get lost.
Portia: Okay, yeah. So, what do you mean? I see you in week, then?
Tanya: No, no, I want you to stay close 'cause I might need you but just lay low and not come out of your room. Okay? I gotta go. I did it. I did it.
Greg: Bye Portia. Do you want a drink?
Tanya: I'm hungry.
