Scrubs Season 4 Episode 14: "My Lucky Charm" Quotes
Elliot: Besides, I don't need to go to a waving seminar to know that this wave is internationally known as "I am a married woman whose self esteem has plummeted because nobody looks at me anymore, and so I'm acting like a desperate hussy."
Carla: Oh, snap! Did you just call me a hussy!?
Elliot: Desperate hussy!
They grip each other's hair and start screaming.
Todd: Oh, whoa, whoa! Ladies, stop!
He takes a front-row seat.
Todd: Continue.
Elliot: Why are you waving? You're married.
Carla: So what? Married people can't wave now?
Elliot: You can wave like this. You can't wave like this: Mmm.
Carla: I didn't know you were a waving expert. What plans of ours did you flake on to go to that waving seminar?
Elliot: Oh, why are you asking me? Did you forget?! You big plan forgetter.
J.D.: Well, hey, we're sorry about the whole incarceration thing.
Billy: No worries. Life's too short to hold a grudge. But still, you two boys might want to ask yourselves why you contacted the authorities but didn't have the decency to come and talk to me first. But I should let you two "partners" figure that out. By the way, you're a gorgeous couple. Good luck to ya.
Dr. Cox: What, uh, what did you do around the apartment while I was gone?
Jordan: Oh! I turned your little office into my pajama closet, I threw out everything in the 'frigerator that had the word "jerky" or "whiz" on it, I got rid of all your clothes that make you look like you're twenty years old - don't worry, I saved your hockey jerseys. Although I did move them into my new... pajama closet! And for some reason none of the remotes work anymore.
Turk: Dude.
Billy is making out with Elliot.
J.D.: Elliot!
Elliot: He said my eyes look like the Irish countryside after a soft rain. Ahem. I should go.
J.D.: That happened very quickly.
Turk: Don't even sweat it. It's Elliot. She's desperate!
J.D.: Dude.
Billy is about to make out with Carla.
Turk: Baby!
Carla: What? What? I wasn't gonna do anything! He said my hair was curly.
Billy: Your hair is curly.
Billy: Go travelin' to Texas, you know? Go line dancing with some married women that wish they weren't married. You never know what life would put in your lap when you open your arms and embrace it!
J.D.: "You'll be surprised what'll fall in your lap if you open up and embrace life..."
Billy: Enough about me. What about you lads, you know, saving lives here all day every day? Out at night, givin' out a lash, tearin' it up? You do go out at night, don't ya?
J.D.: We tear it.
Turk: And-and-and sometimes lash, but with the hours we work, it's...
J.D.: It's less tearing and more folding.
Turk: Right.
J.D.: Gently folding.
Turk: Yeah.
Turk: Come on, Billy, just say it.
Billy: For the last time, lads: no.
J.D.: Oh, then perhaps you're not really Irish.
Billy: FINE! Pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, green clovers.
J.D.: See! I told ya!
J.D. & Turk: Yeah!
J.D.: He's Irish!
Turk: Yeah he is, yeah he is!
Billy: How long're you two seeing each other? You're a great couple.
J.D.: Ohh, no, man, we're just living together. And not like, like, livin' together, I mean, like, liiiivin' together!
Elliot: So... you just forgot we even had plans?
Carla: What's the big deal? You were flaking on them anyway.
Elliot: I wasn't. I have my Cantonese class.
Janitor: But do you? Do you really? Bustin' chops.
Elliot: Fine! At least I remembered the plans well enough to flake on them!
Carla... I'm so bummed. I can't go see the chamber orchestra tonight - I totally forgot I have my Cantonese class. And I would totally call and cancel, but the only thing I know how to say is "I'm allergic to peanuts."
Elliot
Hey! If I accidentally put beer cubes in my orange juice again, there's gonna be trouble. I almost got a D.U.I. because of you guys!
Carla
Dr. Cox: All righty, let's go for the hat-trick, there, doc.
Doctor: Are you sure?
Jordan: Hey, doc! Zip it, grip it, and snip it!
