Scrubs Season 3 Episode 2: "My Journey" Quotes
Turk: All right, fine, man! I can have plenty of deep moments with The Todd!
Todd: You think gay dudes get turned on by their own wieners?
Carla: Who left this urine here?
Dr. Cox: Someone's got a secret admirer!
Carla: Dr. Kelso? Someone left this urine specimen sitting around. What's interesting is that the name tag's been ripped right off.
Dr. Kelso: Sweetheart, I think you're confusing interesting with boring.
Elliot: Dr. Cox, does this shade of red make me look like a clown?
Dr. Cox: No, barbie, no...it makes you look like a prostitute who caters exclusively to clowns.
Turk: You know, I'm actually starting to like Journey.
J.D.: Well you're gonna be very pleased with the next twenty-three songs.
Turk: Whassup?
J.D.: Oh, nothing - I just found out my favorite chips cause anal leakage and, oh, I'm not talking to you.
Dr. Cox: How did you get him to stop talking to you?
J.D.: I don't get it, man. All I wanted to do was take you to dinner, and you made me feel like a total idiot.
Dr. Cox: Wait a minute, I always make him feel like an idiot.
Turk: Why you making a big deal about this?
J.D.: You never tell me how you feel!
Dr. Cox: Aw, dammit all! I never tell you how I feel.
J.D.: I'm not talking to you!
Dr. Cox: Finally!
Nurse Espinosa. I specifically requested that you transfer Mrs. Merchant to the Morning Side Nursing Home. I'd take her there myself, but then I'd run the risk of bumping into my mother, and the last thing I need is to have another conversation about why she shouldn't have to spend her golden years in a bunk-bed. Now, either do the job we pay you for, or I'll find someone else who will! Oh. Have a great day!
Dr. Kelso
Mr. Quinn: So, what makes you so uncomfortable? Is it the sex?
Turk: Don't get me wrong - I don't love the idea of kissing anyone with a mustache. That's why I always pretend to have a cold when Carla's aunt comes to town.
J.D.: I apologize for that. (To Mr. Quinn) To you. (To Turk)Not you! I thought we were friends! (to Mr. Quinn) Again, not you and me; me and... him. Anyway, have a nice day - you! Not you!
Dr. Cox comes in as J.D. walks out
J.D.(to Dr. Cox): Nor you!
Dr. Cox: Oh, hey, this whole you-leaving-the-room-whenever-I-enter-it thing that you're doing is just... I love it!
Elliot: Soooo... thanks to you, Sean blew me off; but I'm okay. Old Elliot would have gone into a tail-spin, but new Elliot's just gonna get him back, because new Elliot is a fixer. Like, that guy over there - if his stitches lifted and his spleen ruptured, I would just go over... and fix them!
Guy: My spleen is going to rupture?
Elliot: Relax, you're fine.
J.D.: You invited The Todd?
Turk: Dude, we left at the same time. I didn't know what to say to him.
J.D.: But I thought we were gonna, like, reminisce tonight, you know? Get a little deep?
Turk: Me too. I'm totally bummed out, all right?
Todd: Oh, that was the hottest slap I've ever gotten! I can't believe I wasn't gonna come out tonight! Thanks for twisting my arm.
J.D.'s Narration: In a hospital, every day is made up of little battles.
Carla: Can I have everyone's attention please? I officially don't care anymore who peed in this jar!
J.D.'s Narration: Sometimes you fight them not because you want to, but because you have to...
Carla comes back and picks the container up again
Carla: Shut up.
Turk: Ever since I got engaged, he's been acting crazier than my fiancee. Although... Carla is going a little nuts about the dress. Dude, what's up with Tracy?
Mr. Quinn: Dude! Tracy's a guy.
Turk: That'd make you gay.
Mr. Quinn: I am gay.
Turk: Neat!
Dr. Cox: Never underestimate just exactly how uncomfortable this makes him.
