Gossip Girl Season 4 Episode 12: "The Kids Are Not All Right" Quotes
Serena: And who do we say you are, my son?
Chuck: Is it weird hearing you say that actually turns me on?
Serena: This better be worth the therapy.
Eleanor: Well, perhaps it might be more efficient for you to have your own assignment rather than accompanying me.
Blair: Even better! Why not—
Eleanor: Patty Blagojevich.
Blair: I'm going to assume that that noise was a sneeze and that you meant to say Indra Nooyi.
Blair: I told you that it was just one movie on one lonely holiday break. That's it.
Dan: No, I'm here to see Serena.
Blair: Oh. Well. She's not here to see you. Shocker.
Dan: Where is she?
Blair: Ah, she's off scheming with Chuck. Disguises are involved. It can't end well.
Blair: What are you doing here?
Dan: Hello to you too.
Nate: You know what? A celebratory sounds like a good after-party. Maybe you could get an advance, pick up the check.
The Captain: At the pay grade I'm at, I hope you don't mind a Halal cart.
Howard: You gettin' soft kid?
Nate: No, I'm getting bursitis. That was mile nine. Maybe we should head back.
Howard: I feel like I'm 20 again.
Nate: I am 20 and I feel like I'm going to puke up a lung.
Chuck: As I see it, we have two distinct goals. I want to block the sale of Bass Industries, you want to get ol' Ben out of jail. A single strategy may satisfy us both.
Serena: Which is?
Chuck: Blackmail.
Watch your back, Lily. These kids are definitely not alright.
Gossip Girl
Dan: Crazy question, but why isn't Ben just going after Lily himself?
Serena: Because he knows she'll go to the cops and tell them what Juliet did to me.
Dan: Oh, you mean kidnap and drug you?
Penelope: Do you know how many women would kill to work with your mother?
Blair: Yes. And they're the Jenny Humphreys of the world.
Eleanor: Oh. Honey, that reminds me. I was thinking, why not work with me at Waldorf Designs? You love fashion.
Blair: Well I also love a good pot-au-feu but that doesn't mean that I'm going to build a career around it.
Dan: I'm sorry. I know you were hoping for some closure.
Serena: Well my mom's deviousness is the gift that keeps on giving, so for now at least the past still lingers.