Merry F(beep)king Christmas song:
MR. GARRISON: I heard there is no Christmas,
In the silly Middle East.
No trees, no snow, no Santa Claus,
They have different religious beliefs.
They believe in Muhammad,
And not in our holiday,
And so every December,
I go to the Middle East and say,
"Hey there Mr. Muslim,
Merry f(beep)king Christmas,
Put down that book the Koran,
And hear some holiday wishes.
In case you haven't noticed,
It's Jesus's birthday.
So get off your heathen Muslim ass,
and f(beep)king celebrate."
There is no holiday season in India I've heard,
They don't hang up their stockings,
And that is just absurd!
They've never read a Christmas story.
They don't know what Rudolph is about,
And that is why in December,
I'll go to India and shout,
"Hey there Mr. Hinduist,
Merry f(beep)king Christmas,
Drink eggnog and eat some beef
And pass it to the missus.
In case you haven't noticed,
It's Jesus's birthday.
So get off your heathen Hindu ass,
and f(beep)king celebrate!"
Now I heard that in Japan,
Everyone just lives in sin,
They pray to several gods,
And put needles in their skin.
On December 25th,
All they do is eat a cake.
And that is why I go to Japan,
And walk around and say,
"Hey there Mr. Shintoist,
Merry f(beep)king Christmas,
God is going to kick your ass,
You infidelic pagan scum.
In case you haven't noticed,
There's festive things to do,
So lets all rejoice for Jesus,
And Merry f(beep)king Christmas to you."
On Christmas day I travel `round the world and say,
"Taoists, Krishnas, Buddhists, and all you atheists too,
Merry F(beep)king Christmas, To You!"
(Clapping)
Thank you, Mr. Hat.