South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralKyle Broflovski Quotes
How can we be passé, we're only in 4th grade.
Dude an award show just for comedy sounds like a bad idea.
Stan: What's a muff cabbage?
Kyle: It's a Jersey thing.
Cartman: You know what you want to do if you want a family to move away? Every night you take a crap on their doorstep.
Kyle: Is that why there's crap on my doorstep every morning?
Cartman: Oops. Busted.
Ms. Choksondik: Alright, children, in lieu of the common usage, I'm supposed to clarify the school's position on the word, "shit."
Stan: Wow! We can say "shit" in school now?
Kyle: This is ridiculous! Just because they say it on TV it's alright.
Chef: I'm very proud of you, children. Let's all go home and find a nice white woman to make love to.
Stan: Yeah, and Kenny didn't die!
Kenny: (muffled) Yeah, and I didn't die- (pukes out his intestines and dies)
Stan: Holy sh- I mean, poop.
Kyle: Yeah. Poop.
Cartman: I love you guys...
Cartman: You guys, look here. In this Nancy Drew mystery, Nancy goes to the beach and gets sand trapped in her shoe. This could explain how Kyle got it in his vagina!
Kyle: Cartman, this is serious!
Cartman: So am I, Kyle. If that sand in your vagina doesn't get released, you could become a walking time bomb.
Kyle: Chef, do you know where "shit" comes from?
Chef: Uh, from your ass, children.
Cartman: Don't mind Kyle, everyone. He's just got a little sand in his vagina.
Kyle: There's no sand in my vagina!!
Ms. Choksondik: Boys, watch your language! Shit!
Kyle: Dude! They're gonna say "shit" on television??
Stan: You can't say "shit" on television!
Cartman: It was just on the news! People are freaking out, dude.
Stan: Holy ****ing shit!
Cartman: You guys! You guys! Oh my god! Oh my god, you guys!
Kyle: What, doughboy?
Cartman: I was... (catches breath) I was just watching the TV and they had this commercial.
Stan: So?
Cartman: So... Guess what they're gonna say tonight on that show "Cop Drama"?
Kyle: What?
Cartman: No, c'mon, guess! They're gonna say something that's never been said on television!
Stan: What?
Cartman: Guess.
Kyle: Goddamit, Cartman! What are they gonna say on "Cop Drama"?
Cartman: Okay, you ready? Tonight...on "Cop Drama"...on TV,...they're gonna say... (looks to the left and right) "shit".
Stan: I can't belive they actually said it...
Cartman: Dude, you missed it, Kyle! It was so awesome!
Kyle: (sarcastically) Well, I hope it lived up to all the hype. You must feel so much better now.
Cartman: Kyle, you've got to get that sand out of your vagina; it's making you cranky. Does it itch?
Kyle: Do you really think anything's gonna be any different now? Do you really think that this will have the tiniest smallest effect on the world? It's still the same old world out there. Look! (opens door and the boys see frogs falling from the sky)
Kyle: What the hell...?
Cartman: Whoa, dude. It's raining frogs...
Kyle: (walks away) Oh, whatever!
