The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXJimbo Jones Quotes
Lisa: Why does someone become a bully?
Jimbo: Neglect.
Dolph: Abuse.
Kearney: I'm a Cubs fan.
Jimbo: If I wrote down everything you told me to write down, I'd have no time for punching.
Dolph: Whoa, you should write that down, man.
Jimbo: Your fists are sisters?
Dolph: Yeah, Pocahontas and Sacagawea!
Bart: Nice save.
Recruiter: Yo! I don't know which one I dig more Hip Hop, Crunk or serving my country.
Jimbo: Are you guys hitting on us?
Bart/Johnny Rotten: When I hired a guy named Sid Vicious, I assumed it would be a thirty year business relationship!
Jimbo/Steve Jones: I told you, we should have gone with Tom Responsible.
Bart/Johnny Rotten: Slag off!
Jimbo: Nice prank, Simpson. I dare you to dump that bees' nest on those second grade babies.
Bart: Why would I want to?
Jimbo: Because I said "I dare you." Kearney, can you read it back?
Kearney: (reading) "Nice prank, Simpson. I dare you to dump that bees' nest on those second-grade babies. Bart: Why would I want to? Jimbo: Because I said 'I dare you.' Kearney, can you read it back? Kearney, reading: Nice prank, Simpson. I dare you to--"
Jimbo: The point is, Simpson, a dare has been placed on your nards.
Bart: My nards accept.
James Woods: Okay you're you, I'm me.
Jimbo: I'm me!?
James Woods: Hey don't...jerk me around, fella.
Jimbo: Hey, you're that drunken posse. Wow! Can I join ya?
Homer: I don't know, can you swing a sack of doorknobs?
Jimbo: Can I!
Homer: You're in. Here's the sack.
Moe: But you gotta supply your own doorknobs.
Jimbo: You let me down, man! Now I don't believe in nothin'! I'm goin' to law school!
Homer: NOOOOOOOO!!!
Nelson: What's in the bag, wuss? (grabs it from Bart) Oh, look, Campers Pampers.
(Dolph, Jimbo, and Kearney appear, and they start to play "Keep Away.")
Bart: Yeah, whatever. (walks away)
Jimbo: Uh You better pretend you want your uniform back, twerp!
(The bullies begin to play "Keep Away" again.)
Bart: Oh, no. Woe is me. My precious uniform.
Nelson: My old man can't get a beer because his old man won't give a bear to another old man! Let's get him!
Jimbo: Wait, why are we getting him?
Martin: Look, fellows. The first snapdragon of the season.
Nelson: Nevermind. Let's get him!
Lisa: Whales are mammals and are deeply intelligent and sensitive like us.
Jimbo [to whale]: Haha, nerd.
