Kelly: Well I manage my department, and I've been doing that for several years now, and God I've learned a lot of life lessons along the way.
Jim: Your department's just you right?
Kelly: Yes Jim, but I am not easy to manage.

Dwight: I need you to promise me that you'll be on your best behavior.
Jim: I promiseeeeed other people that I'd be on my worst behavior, and I gave 'em my word so...

Wow you've really embraced the whole Bond villain aesthetic.

Jim: Hey you got a second?
Deangelo: Yeah, I got tons of time. This job's a joke.

Tomorrow I can tell you what a great boss you turned out to be. Best boss I ever had.

Michael: Am I doing the wrong thing?
Jim: Absolutely not. It's just that sometimes, goodbyes are a bitch.

You guys are filming people when they go to the bathroom now?

CeCe if you're watching this at home, it's way past your bed time. By the way, how'd this get televised?

I don't understand the desire to push sweet potato fries on me. I just want regular fries.

Deangelo: You sir, we having fun tonight?
Jim: Having a great time.
Deangelo: Oh good, good. Where were you on September 11th?

They don't ever talk about careers that were MADE because of unplanned pregnancies.

Michael: I want this to be an event that everyone talks about always and forever.
Jim: Totally reasonable.

The Office Quotes

Michael: Ah, This is our receptionist, Pam. PAM! PAM PAM! Pam Beesly. Uh, Pam has been with us, um, for forever... Right, Pam?
Pam: Well, I don't know...
Michael: If you think she's cute now, you should have seen her a couple of years ago! [growls]
Pam: What?
Michael: Uh, any messages?

[on the phone] All right, done deal! Thank you very much sir! You are a gentleman and a scholar! [pause] Oh, I'm sorry. Okay, I'm sorry. My mistake. [hangs up] That was a woman I was talking to... so, she had a very low voice. Probably a smoker. So that's the way it's done!

Michael