Hilda Suarez Quotes
I'm not double-booking haircuts to make money to get you into private school just so you can get rejected 'cause you're too stupid 'cause you skipped public school.
Justin: Mom, do I really have to go camping with grandpa and Elena?
Hilda: Yes. Elena's nephews are dying to meet you
Betty: ...and they planned the whole thing with you in mind
Justin: If they planned it with me in mind, we'd be at a spa with mud baths and ginger facials
Hilda: You're going! There'll be plenty of mud
Hilda: Momma could use a couple new pairs of shoes, a new hairdryer, maybe some rings..
Betty: Maybe a new nickname that isn't momma?
Hilda: Momma doesn't like your attitude
Ignacio [referring to Claire]: What an amazing woman
Hila: Yeah if you can get past the booze, the pills, the murder
Justin: Why a biography has not been written about that woman, it's criminal
Ignacio: I'd buy it
How great is Elena? She's like the big sister I never had.. now I know how important I am to you
Hilda: It's gonna be like my very own Broadway opening
Ignacio: Yea it's like Spring Awakening, Avenue Q, and South Pacific all rolled in to one
Justin: Grandpa nice
Ignacio: Hey I keep up
Betty: I can barely pay my rent, oh, which is due tomorrow. I almost forgot.
Hilda: Is juice moocher pitching in?
Betty: Well I've been dropping hints all week
Hilda: Yeah, have you tried, "Where's my rent, bitch?"
Betty: No
Hilda: You gotta take every advantage you get in this life. When I gotta go to the butcher shop, I put on my tightest tank top and thanks to the pointer sister right here, the meat man puts me in the front of the line.. Is that fair? No. So what? Who cares?
Ignacio: Thank you I can never show my face in that butcher shop again
Hilda: A guy in a car once told me I could be a model
Betty: I know I stopped you from getting in that car
Hilda: Sorry we couldn't take your shoes off before you went to bed but we could not untie those double knots
Henry: I get nervous about tripping
Hilda: Papi just called, he's coming coming home thursday
Betty: I'm so happy
Hilda: Yeah well tell your face
You see this gray hair? This one is called "Santos almost died." I'm not willing to risk another one, so just sit back, relax.