Every Tuesday morning, the previous night's Gossip Girl is broken down by New York Magazine - which played a prominent role in last night's episode, oddly enough - and assigned scores according to its patented "reality index."

Below are some of the highlights (and lowlights) from the magazine's analysis of "Bonfire of the Vanity." Leave a comment at the bottom with your own!

• Nelly Yuki would not have expensive accessories like that and still wear those hideous glasses. Blair simply wouldn't let her! Minus 4.

• Rufus Humphrey describes Agnes' mother as "more Courtney Love than June Cleaver," which is exactly what his references would be. Plus 1.

• Dan says he "killed" the New York story. Oh, yeah, that story about a billionaire committing murder/arson? Yeah, we can skip that one. No worries! Minus 10.

• Blair Waldorf's little group friends are so nervous planning her birthday party that their laughs sound like shrieks of terror. Plus 2.

• How long does Serena have to stare at the phone smiling after getting Aaron's text message? Minus 1. 

• Jenny and Agnes' fights are so classic teenager, down to Jenny's accusation that Agnes was "acting out." This is why none of us had careers at 15. Plus 2.

• The angles at which they filmed the scene with Serena and Cyrus were hilarious. It was like she was a giant and he was, well, Wallace Shawn. Plus 2.

• In the scene where Agnes went crazy, Jenny would have fought way harder. She just stood there as Agnes dumped lighter fluid on her dresses, and then went, "What are you doing?" as Agnes stalked around for 20 minutes trying to light a match. Jenny had enough time to drop a dump truck on her face. Minus 6.

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.